Showing posts with label exotic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exotic. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Sunny Hill- Goodbye to Romance
I haven't got a crush on my seniors, but as I was watching this, I held the perspective of a fangirl.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Anterograde Tomorrow quotes
Some quotes from a REAL GOOD exo fanfic.
1. Kyungsoo is stuck in the hours while Jongin begs the seconds, because time stops for someone who can't remember and runs from someone who can't miss the last train home.
2. My name’s Kim Jongin. I call you hyung.
Yesterday you loved me. Today you’ll love me again.
3. Jongin explains that they’re for a book he’s writing. A romance about a man who erases himself at the end of each day.
Kyungsoo questions the romance in that. Jongin says no worries, writers are certified bullshitters;
just kill someone and it’ll end up romantic.
4. You’re caught in time but time moves on. You can’t remember people coming or leaving.
The world diminishes around you while you’re stuck in the center.
All of your old friends leave or die and you can’t make new ones.
You can’t love. You can’t hate.
5. It’s funny because my life is full of this:
you think you’re escaping, until you run into yourself.
Twenty-three years later it turns out that the longest way round is the shortest way home,
and I’ve been running in circles since the get-go.
What a riot, huh?
6. “Grab a toy from work. Leave it by the apartment next-door. (19 July 2012)”
7. “Pity’s pretty fucking expensive from someone who can’t care.”
8. Jongin’s eyes are red. His lips are white. The silence is black.
9. Jongin doesn’t speak for a long time, and when he does, he doesn’t look up from his notebook anymore,
“So if you can retain memories of how to do something, do you also retain feelings? If you fell in love with a woman today, would you still love her tomorrow?”
10. It was kind of funny, like watching a hamster run itself to death in a wheel,
for an exit that didn’t exist.
11. Their shoulders touch a little, but neither of them moves away.
12. You don’t need to know. I’m one of those pages that’s going to be abandoned one day.
It won’t even be a pretty page. It’ll be blood and tears over pulp and paper and, honestly, it’s better not to have a page of me at all.
13. The man on the last page of his scrapbook is Jongin on certain days, a writer on others, and a stranger during brief elevator rides.
On good days he has a smooth olive complexion; on bad days he wears jaundice over his flesh like a punishment.
Sometimes he is a boy sitting on the neighboring balcony, legs dangling off the ledge and cigarette hanging on parched lips, arms poking out from behind rusted fences. Sometimes he is the tired man leaning against the wall, drowning in the rain with hair damp and back hunched. Sometimes they share a quiet second in the corridors, others countless hours speaking with lidded eyes, over thick divides of indigo smoke and ringlets of blues.
Occasionally it hurts to see him, makes Kyungsoo’s chest throb with something heavier than pity, but most of the time seeing the man makes Kyungsoo’s head light and dizzy.
14. It’s like being killed. Wiped out and deleted against your will.
15. “Real fireflies,” Jongin grins, “Light people up from the inside out.”
16. At the mention of ‘hyung’, Kyungsoo immediately thinks of the last page in his scrapbook,
the one without a photo, about a man who is really a boy, a writer who is really a dancer, a neighbor who is really much more. Kim Jongin.
The page had a note on the side that said to pretend to have never read it,
because Kim Jongin doesn’t want to be remembered.
17. “You knew, didn’t you, that I have a page about you in my book?”
18. Sleep takes Kyungsoo away, anyway.
19. And then night swarms in and paints everything blank.
20. “Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?”
“Well, it dies. The thought dies.”
“Don’t let me die, hyung. Promise me you’ll remember me.”
21. “My name is Jongin. I’m the writer who lives next door. See you tomorrow, hyung. Don’t forget!”
22. There are times that the truth hurts more than the lie, and times when the lie itself is painful enough to rip Kyungsoo apart.
23. “Do you?” The stranger frowns, and it resounds much more of a plea than a request.
24. And we’re never going to have a relationship. You get it, don’t you? You can keep trying but you’re never going to remember me. That’s just the way it is.
25. No, you don’t, because you don’t actually love me. Without all my notes, there is nothing. There is actually, exactly, really nothing. I’m really just a stranger to you, and this relationship is all just a play.
It’s just another novel. Fabrication. Everything.
I’m not even writing a fucking novel, fuck, I’m living it.”
26. Because that’s what time does. It takes the little pieces.
The insignificant ones first, and then it sneaks the significant ones…
But then by the time you do realize it, they’ll be gone, and you won’t know what’s missing until—
27. My head is bad but my heart... My heart is good. I’ll remember you there.
I can’t remember anything about you, but when you hurt, my heart hurt. When you laugh, my heart laughs.
I can love you even without memories so just hang on.
28. Don’t you see it, hyung? Our ending is so clear.
It’s all been drafted from the very beginning, before we ever met.”
29. And when that day comes, hyung, promise me you’ll let me go.
You’ll go home, take away the daisies—”
“Because, listen, hyung. You don’t deserve to…see daisies wither…"
30. You can remember tomorrow. I’ll remember all of our yesterdays
31. “So I wanted to play a hero. Let myself be forgotten, to save you from all the yesterdays and leave you with all the tomorrows but… then I heard that I had pneumonia. It wasn’t six months. I had four weeks.
Maybe three. And I cracked. Being stuck with the yesterdays while you moved on without me suddenly wasn’t all that appealing anymore and—really, I’m sorry.
I lied. I’m not a hero. Just a coward.”
32. That there’s no rush, that it’ll be fine, because he’s going to go home and write all of this down—
Kim Jongin, west wing, room two-twenty, Seoul Hospital, take the taxi to the southern entrance,
we’re not finished yet—
so that he can come back tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after…
33. "I’m on borrowed time... How much do you think the interest is?"
34. He doesn’t need to know anything, not of their past or their future or their virtues and vices. All he wants is just a name. Any little piece of Kim Jongin.
35. “remember Jongin; our birthday tomorrow (13th January 2014).”
1. Kyungsoo is stuck in the hours while Jongin begs the seconds, because time stops for someone who can't remember and runs from someone who can't miss the last train home.
2. My name’s Kim Jongin. I call you hyung.
Yesterday you loved me. Today you’ll love me again.
3. Jongin explains that they’re for a book he’s writing. A romance about a man who erases himself at the end of each day.
Kyungsoo questions the romance in that. Jongin says no worries, writers are certified bullshitters;
just kill someone and it’ll end up romantic.
4. You’re caught in time but time moves on. You can’t remember people coming or leaving.
The world diminishes around you while you’re stuck in the center.
All of your old friends leave or die and you can’t make new ones.
You can’t love. You can’t hate.
5. It’s funny because my life is full of this:
you think you’re escaping, until you run into yourself.
Twenty-three years later it turns out that the longest way round is the shortest way home,
and I’ve been running in circles since the get-go.
What a riot, huh?
6. “Grab a toy from work. Leave it by the apartment next-door. (19 July 2012)”
7. “Pity’s pretty fucking expensive from someone who can’t care.”
8. Jongin’s eyes are red. His lips are white. The silence is black.
9. Jongin doesn’t speak for a long time, and when he does, he doesn’t look up from his notebook anymore,
“So if you can retain memories of how to do something, do you also retain feelings? If you fell in love with a woman today, would you still love her tomorrow?”
10. It was kind of funny, like watching a hamster run itself to death in a wheel,
for an exit that didn’t exist.
11. Their shoulders touch a little, but neither of them moves away.
12. You don’t need to know. I’m one of those pages that’s going to be abandoned one day.
It won’t even be a pretty page. It’ll be blood and tears over pulp and paper and, honestly, it’s better not to have a page of me at all.
13. The man on the last page of his scrapbook is Jongin on certain days, a writer on others, and a stranger during brief elevator rides.
On good days he has a smooth olive complexion; on bad days he wears jaundice over his flesh like a punishment.
Sometimes he is a boy sitting on the neighboring balcony, legs dangling off the ledge and cigarette hanging on parched lips, arms poking out from behind rusted fences. Sometimes he is the tired man leaning against the wall, drowning in the rain with hair damp and back hunched. Sometimes they share a quiet second in the corridors, others countless hours speaking with lidded eyes, over thick divides of indigo smoke and ringlets of blues.
Occasionally it hurts to see him, makes Kyungsoo’s chest throb with something heavier than pity, but most of the time seeing the man makes Kyungsoo’s head light and dizzy.
14. It’s like being killed. Wiped out and deleted against your will.
15. “Real fireflies,” Jongin grins, “Light people up from the inside out.”
16. At the mention of ‘hyung’, Kyungsoo immediately thinks of the last page in his scrapbook,
the one without a photo, about a man who is really a boy, a writer who is really a dancer, a neighbor who is really much more. Kim Jongin.
The page had a note on the side that said to pretend to have never read it,
because Kim Jongin doesn’t want to be remembered.
17. “You knew, didn’t you, that I have a page about you in my book?”
18. Sleep takes Kyungsoo away, anyway.
19. And then night swarms in and paints everything blank.
20. “Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?”
“Well, it dies. The thought dies.”
“Don’t let me die, hyung. Promise me you’ll remember me.”
21. “My name is Jongin. I’m the writer who lives next door. See you tomorrow, hyung. Don’t forget!”
22. There are times that the truth hurts more than the lie, and times when the lie itself is painful enough to rip Kyungsoo apart.
23. “Do you?” The stranger frowns, and it resounds much more of a plea than a request.
24. And we’re never going to have a relationship. You get it, don’t you? You can keep trying but you’re never going to remember me. That’s just the way it is.
25. No, you don’t, because you don’t actually love me. Without all my notes, there is nothing. There is actually, exactly, really nothing. I’m really just a stranger to you, and this relationship is all just a play.
It’s just another novel. Fabrication. Everything.
I’m not even writing a fucking novel, fuck, I’m living it.”
26. Because that’s what time does. It takes the little pieces.
The insignificant ones first, and then it sneaks the significant ones…
But then by the time you do realize it, they’ll be gone, and you won’t know what’s missing until—
27. My head is bad but my heart... My heart is good. I’ll remember you there.
I can’t remember anything about you, but when you hurt, my heart hurt. When you laugh, my heart laughs.
I can love you even without memories so just hang on.
28. Don’t you see it, hyung? Our ending is so clear.
It’s all been drafted from the very beginning, before we ever met.”
29. And when that day comes, hyung, promise me you’ll let me go.
You’ll go home, take away the daisies—”
“Because, listen, hyung. You don’t deserve to…see daisies wither…"
30. You can remember tomorrow. I’ll remember all of our yesterdays
31. “So I wanted to play a hero. Let myself be forgotten, to save you from all the yesterdays and leave you with all the tomorrows but… then I heard that I had pneumonia. It wasn’t six months. I had four weeks.
Maybe three. And I cracked. Being stuck with the yesterdays while you moved on without me suddenly wasn’t all that appealing anymore and—really, I’m sorry.
I lied. I’m not a hero. Just a coward.”
32. That there’s no rush, that it’ll be fine, because he’s going to go home and write all of this down—
Kim Jongin, west wing, room two-twenty, Seoul Hospital, take the taxi to the southern entrance,
we’re not finished yet—
so that he can come back tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after…
33. "I’m on borrowed time... How much do you think the interest is?"
34. He doesn’t need to know anything, not of their past or their future or their virtues and vices. All he wants is just a name. Any little piece of Kim Jongin.
35. “remember Jongin; our birthday tomorrow (13th January 2014).”
Monday, December 10, 2012
anterograde tomorrow
Remember I said Exotic fandom has the best written fanfics? Here's one classic.
------------
Here's the link to the fanfic.
http://changdictator.livejournal.com/3484.html
I've started reading. By the second paragraph, I'm already impressed by the writer's writing. Daebak. It is a must-read!
---------
Update. 3.01AM. I finished reading. Crying like a baby. It's beautiful. T.T
I haven't started reading, but the video and the quotes captivated me already.
"where does a thought go when it's forgotten?"
"you can remember tomorrow. i will remember all of our yesterdays."
------------
Here's the link to the fanfic.
http://changdictator.livejournal.com/3484.html
I've started reading. By the second paragraph, I'm already impressed by the writer's writing. Daebak. It is a must-read!
---------
Update. 3.01AM. I finished reading. Crying like a baby. It's beautiful. T.T
Sunday, December 9, 2012
If I am going to get married...
"如果我真的要嫁人了，在这之前我一定会一个人追一次concert，坐在第一排，不拍照，不大喊，不发微博，就这样静静的看一场演唱会。然后我想去机场远远的看著你送你离开。我会告诉自己，自此之后，要把对你的爱分一点给别人了，你不再是心中唯一了。"
Saw this quote on Twitter. It made me wanna cry.
Translation: If I am really gonna get married, before that, I will attend your concert on my own, and sit in the first row.
Not gonna take any photographs, not gonna scream, not gonna tweet. I'm just going to sit there quietly like that to watch your show.
After that, I would like to go to the airport to send you off, from far.
I will tell myself, from now on, I would have to share the love that I had only for you to someone else. You are no longer my only one.
T.T EXO
Friday, December 7, 2012
#8MonthsWithEXO
Just about a year ago, everyone was wondering who would be the members of SM's upcoming group, which was then given the project names of M1 and M2.
Just about a year ago, they performed on the stage of Gayo Daejun.
The first teaser was released.
And soon, they debuted officially.
1 Mini album. 6 songs.
4 Awards.
8 Months.
Our boys have accomplished a lot.
(Still waiting for comeback lol)
Now the words "Deer/鹿", "Duizhang/队长", "Panda/熊猫", "Baozi/包子", "Bacon", "Mayo", "Gull", "Buffalo"etc mean another thing to me. I can never treat them the same/normal way again.
They ruined my life.
Without EXO, my life would have been very different. I might have spent more time on schoolwork, gotten higher grades, then guaranteed myself a better job in the future, a bigger house, etc.
But I will never experience anything as blissful as being an EXOTIC.
I get tingly feelings at slight skinships between my OTPs.
I get the overwhelming feeling when I saw their faces, wondering why would anyone be so perfect.
I cry when I see them fall, injured, or even when winning an award.
My heart hurts and screams for injustice when I see people bashing them.
I smile widely just by seeing their pictures, fancams, just by listening to their voices through my headphones.
I am happy enough, to know of their existence.
This experience of being an exotic, can never be bought with the money I could have earned.
Eight months, and more to come.
谢谢你，鹿晗 金珉硕（秀珉） 吴凡 张艺兴 金钟大 黄子韬。
기존 주셔서 감사합니다! 김준면 변백현 박찬열 도경수 김종인 오세훈
"Even if I meet you 20 years from now, I'd still like to take a picture, get your autograph, and tell you how much you changed my life" ♡
Just about a year ago, they performed on the stage of Gayo Daejun.
The first teaser was released.
And soon, they debuted officially.
1 Mini album. 6 songs.
4 Awards.
8 Months.
Our boys have accomplished a lot.
(Still waiting for comeback lol)
Now the words "Deer/鹿", "Duizhang/队长", "Panda/熊猫", "Baozi/包子", "Bacon", "Mayo", "Gull", "Buffalo"etc mean another thing to me. I can never treat them the same/normal way again.
They ruined my life.
Without EXO, my life would have been very different. I might have spent more time on schoolwork, gotten higher grades, then guaranteed myself a better job in the future, a bigger house, etc.
But I will never experience anything as blissful as being an EXOTIC.
I get tingly feelings at slight skinships between my OTPs.
I get the overwhelming feeling when I saw their faces, wondering why would anyone be so perfect.
I cry when I see them fall, injured, or even when winning an award.
My heart hurts and screams for injustice when I see people bashing them.
I smile widely just by seeing their pictures, fancams, just by listening to their voices through my headphones.
I am happy enough, to know of their existence.
This experience of being an exotic, can never be bought with the money I could have earned.
Eight months, and more to come.
谢谢你，鹿晗 金珉硕（秀珉） 吴凡 张艺兴 金钟大 黄子韬。
기존 주셔서 감사합니다! 김준면 변백현 박찬열 도경수 김종인 오세훈
"Even if I meet you 20 years from now, I'd still like to take a picture, get your autograph, and tell you how much you changed my life" ♡
Thursday, December 6, 2012
exotics
i have to say this.
exotic has got to be the most gifted fandom ever.
exotic has got to be the most gifted fandom ever.
im being totally objective here.
before that we were known as the strangest, weirdest, craziest bunch of people (we still are).
but now im starting to notice that we have dang good fanfic writers, good fmv makers, and fanart artists.
not to mention that the china fanclubs are crazily dedicated as well.
exo debuted for not even a year but we have tons of inside jokes and even famous fans already.
exotics are no joke.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
EXO; Awards
My tears literally flowed like crazy while watching this.
At the sight of EXO-M crying when they received their very first award in China, the homeland of four of the boys.
This wasn't any ordinary tears of joy. The award wasn't just a commendation for them as rookies, but to them, it is an affirmation from the people.
EXO-M didn't start out that easy.
They had a rough start.
On the day of their debut in an important China award presentation show, they got criticised right in their faces with really satirisitc comments. Right in front of them, by senior Chinese artistes. These were their sunbaes, the people they grew up listening to, watching on TV. These were the idols of the four Chinese members. To be put down by your idols in front of an audience is such a disappointing, and sad moment.
And this tough beginning made their first award even more meaningful to watch.
Seeing these guys who often take their effort to make us laugh, to make their fans happy, these charismatic guys who are so perfect on stage, cry, is so heartbreaking.
The next scene included was the one of Lay falling flat on the floor while performing (in SMTOWN SG sadly:( ) and he had to limp out of the stage halfway through the song because he really couldn't continue anymore. Furthermore we know that he has been suffering from an old waist injury that comes on and off. He was even seen assisted by two SM workers while walking out of the airport. (He denied the offer to sit on the wheelchair as he did not want the fans to worry.)
Lay, this guy...
He loves the stage. He loves performing, too much.
That he is making us cry as we are touched by his passion for music and dance.
We all know he already started out as a child star in his hometown.
When in Korea, he did not feel tired at all during trainee period, because he was doing what he love. It wasn't considered a chore.
So when it the camera panned to Lay's face while he was receiving the award. He gave a slight nod. My heart really ached.
It was like, loving music so much that he worked really really hard for it, despite the injuries and all..
No matter who my bias is, Lay will forever have a special place in my heart.
Our boys are great.
They did us proud.
--------------
update: As you have would have known, I'm a Sone and Exotic.
And coincidentally, both groups (Girls' Generation and EXO) had a rough beginning.
Maybe one of the reasons that I'm attracted to them is their hardworking, modest, never-give-up attitude.
Looking at the other groups which went through difficult times like Super Junior and DBSK, we know that this is no longer coincidence. EXO is destined to succeed. And will do even better.
EXO ah, HWAITING.
사랑합니다
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And the lyrics will be:
"I was looking through my idol's photobook, I see the picture of that artiste who was once the leader of hallyu wave. It's been a while.
When lunch time came, I sat by my computer. As I watched you, who seemed so far away from me like a star. It was really nice. I was a fan so idols seemed so high up there. It was so hard to say a word to him. Though we were countries apart.
But my heart rushed by just seeing his name.
Is he married now? Does he even know me?
Is he still living his dreams like before?
Did he get taller than before?
I want him to remain as a good memory."
Though I don't want this to happen, it will, one day.
However, getting married doesn't mean I will stop being a fan.
They will forever hold a special place in my heart. :')
EXO 啊 你们知不知道…… ㅠㅠ