Even when the entire world turns into rubble, having you alone, is enough.
1.
You have an idol whom you like.
So you became the "fanatic", "person without priorities" that everyone is talking about.
You are stanning what others call "Korean stars", and supposedly, you no longer listen to the music of your own mother tongue.
You bought many language books in order to learn how to speak your idols' language.
Not paying enough attention in class, posters filling up your bedroom's walls, staring into your computer screen to see your idols everyday.
Your handphone is full of your idols' photos and songs.
Spending all your allowance on an album, or a ticket to a concert.
You slowly feel unwelcomed by your friends, because you will never understand the topics that they are discussing,
and on the other hand, you are passionate about things that they don't know,
you listen to the kind of music that they can never comprehend, and you are speaking with a vocabulary that is not in line with theirs.
They say, "Koreans are all ugly". "The stars that you see are all actually products of plastic surgery."
"See, these people look as if they went to the same plastic surgeon."
"Don't believe? Go and roam around the streets of Korea, there isn't a single pretty soul."
You feel helpless.
They say, "How can you even like Koreans? Are you even patriotic and loyal to your own country?"
"There are also people who are pretty and talented in your homeland, why must you like Koreans?"
You feel angry.
They say, "How are Korean stars talented? Every song is just noise, aren't they all produced with autotune?"
"Their live performances are painful for the ears."
"Their lyrics, do you even understand? If you don't, then what's so good about it?"
You feel upset.
But so what if you rebut?
They address your idols as 'suckers' and you, as 'brainless, idiotic fans'.
They unfollow you on social media, because you always retweet useless things about your idols.
In their eyes, you are crazy, childish, unloyal, and illogical.
You feel wronged.
You know, you know it all. Your idol may not be all-natural, nor hundred percent perfect.
But, you just love him/her so, so much, so much till you don't care about everything.
I'm just, that in love with my idol.
I'm just, that in love with my idol.
2.
What do you like about your idol, then?
I like his intricate features.
I like his clumsy, adorable personality.
I like the way he beams when he smiles.
I like how he widens his eyes while doing aegyo with his fists clunched.
I like how he acts cute to his fans, like a kid.
I like how he runs wild on stage freely.
I like his occasional sarcasm.
I like how he does things his way because he has his hyungs to back him up.
I like how he rests obediently on his hyungs' shoulders.
I like how he cares about his hyungs.
I like how he spaces out.
I like how he almost burned the kitchen while cooking.
I like his slow reactions.
I like his occasional mischief.
I like how he is like a crazy guy.
I like how much effort he puts in to surprise his fans.
I like the way he closes his eyes while singing.
I like the focused look on his face when dancing.
I like his determination and tolerance.
I like how gentle he is towards his fans.
I like his everything.
I really, really like him.
It's so much till I think no one could ever replace him.
In my heart, he is like a small kid, who is reluctant to come out.
He is older than I am, by a lot, yet I am spoiling him like how a mum would.
I want to caress him in my arms, take good care of him, and not let him suffer a single bit.
Online, I call him my son, my baby, my sweetheart.
I despise his craziness, I look down at how he doesn't want to take off his insoles,
I can't at his stubbornness, I hate OTPS.
But, such a familiar stranger, the moment you see him, you would end up in tears.
Even a simple "I love you" couldn't come out easily from your mouth.
That, is a person whom you have loved with your entire youth.
He accompanied you through many helpless nights, he encouraged you when you were facing so many obstacles,
he supported you through all your sorrows.
When you were lost, when you were alone, when you were sad, when you were afraid,
just a single thought of him will give you so much courage.
You are obviously so familiar with him, but you feel as if, a meeting with him would take a lifetime's luck.
You feel that, him calling you "girlfriend" or "my babies", is already a big gift from God.
When he is sad, you feel even sadder.
When he is in love, you say that you would wish him happiness, but you silently wet your pillow with your tears during nighttime.
For him, and in order to work with him, you want to become someone even more successful, to become someone worthy to be his fan.
This type of love, has got nothing to do with nationality.
3.
Idiot.
Whenever you sing praises of him, there will always be someone saying, "If he is that good, why don't you marry him?"
I believe that you would have shook your head firmly, saying, "No, he deserves someone better than me."
Yup, when saying this, doesn't it pinch your heart a little?
Of course, you like him so much no one could ever take his place in your heart.
But he is such a bright star, with so many pairs of eyes on him, there are so many people who are like you, who love him so much.
It can't be possible that everyone will marry him.
You understand, that he will not be that little kid forever, he will have to marry and have children one day.
Your OTPs, be it official or non-popular ships, are all the same here. The probability of it happening is really small.
But in your heart, no one can be good enough to deserve him.
You feel that, the girl in the future, has to be very very beautiful, very very talented. Because it's only so that she is deserving of the guy whom you were in love with for so many years.
You smile and wish them all the best, because you too, have to grow up, you are no longer that girl who wants to get married to him.
And the kid whom you have always been carrying in your hands, will never be your man.
Despite so, you will still feel disheartened. For this entire life, you will never become his whatever.
No matter how long you have persisted in this love of yours, you are still an anonymous person who loves him.
There won't be any outcome, but you still persisted for so many years.
I love you, you have to believe, that I love you more than any other soul in the world.
But ultimately, I won't get to own you.
It's like a, though stirring, but hopeless one-sided crush.
To stan an idol, how painful must it have been.
4
Dear idol, up till now, I couldn't believe that,... what sort of good deeds have I done in my past life,
that I'm able to meet you now?
Back in those days when you like him, you will feel really blessed just to receive updates about him.
I've treated you as my baby, dear.
I've written so many letters for you, even though I know that you may not have the chance to read it, I'm still writing.
Today, I cried for you for a really long time again, silly, if you get injured again I'd fly over to teach you a lesson.
Today, I baked a birthday cake for you, it's really pretty, but it's such a pity that I have to eat it by myself, as usual.
Today, I went to watch your concert, dear, don't cry again next time, it's so embarrassing, noona's heart will ache.
I went to Korea for a tour, when I entered your shop, I actually cried, it must have been embarrassing.
I went to the fansign, and queued for a really long time before I managed to see you. You must have not slept well last night, silly, you have to take care of yourself.
I went to your concert again, you cried, but this time, I cried even harder.
I waited for a really long time outside your company building today, you didn't come out, but I still feel really happy, because, I was so close to you.
Today... I think I saw you on the streets. You were walking really fast, it must have been something important. I didn't went up for your autograph, because your safety is more important than anything.
Back in those days when you like him, as long as he gets hurt for a little bit, you would feel upset.
Today, in the airport, why did you fall? Are you hurt? You have to take care of yourself, okay?
Today, why did you cry.... Silly, though it pains my heart, it's still good that you got to let it out.
Don't treat variety shows that serious anymore okay, I believe that you can perform well, and I will always support you.
You got injured again..... Is it painful? Did you go for a checkup at the hospital?
Today's Twitter post... What made you upset again?? Silly, don't worry, don't be afraid. We got your back, as always.
Silly, don't say that. I will never leave the fandom, because you are here. I swear, I'll follow you for the rest of my life. Because you want us to be here, so we will never leave.
In the future, I will never let you worry about such stuff again.
Back in those days when you like him, any little heartwarming things that he did would make you so fuzzy inside.
Just how much effort have he put in, so that he could remember a fan's face and thank her in person?
Just how grateful he must be, that he would bow again and again?
When we were waiting outside, under the hot sun, you were inside, thinking about us.
You said, you love us, you would treat us as your girlfriends. I love you too, and I will treat you as the most important person in my life.
You said, 20 years later, we would still be together. I will continue to love forever, till the day I die, is this enough?
My idol, you are also the most precious gift that I've ever received in my entire life.
My idol, because I am not able to be by your side, so ... can you take good care of yourself?
Your body and health, are more important than anything.
I wanted you to treat yourself better, but you treat us better than how you treat yourself.
My idol, just how nice can you be?
So nice, so nice, why would anyone even bear to leave you guys..
5
My idol.. So, a deep-seated teenage love could last forever??
We will definitely grow old, and we will never achieve what we wanted to do when we were still teens, wanting to be their brides.
They will mature into men, and we, will graduate, and be busy with our work, and will never have the chance to wait for updates in front of our computers 24/7 like how we used to in the past.
Maybe, someday in the future, we would log in to our Twitter account which we haven't been going on for a while, refresh the timeline, and then find out that, oh , it's their overseas concert today.
The newest picture that you have in your phone, has become an old one,
yet your wallpaper, is still that person whom you love dearly.
You hold on to your phone, reading the updates,
and suddenly you rest your head on the table, full of tears.
Actually, at times when we thought that we have forgotten certain things, certain people,
he/she is actually deep inside our hearts.
Actually, he hasn't changed, neither have you.
Despite the passing years, you still love him. And he will never leave your heart.
Despite not seeing him in a while, the moment you could see him, tears have followed your heart's wishes.
He is still, the most beautiful memory of your youth.
Hi, my idol, how I wish that one day in the near future, I will be able to meet you on the streets.
It doesn't matter if you are still as popular, or you have become a star of the past, I will wave to you nonetheless,
and then, willfully smile with tears streaking down my cheeks, and tell you,
My dear idol, I love you. In every second of my life, I was loving you.
It's just that, for this "I love you", it has taken me years.
chi-eng trans: @exonyeoshidae
original: http://ww3.sinaimg.cn/large/a8da184bgw1e7b2g41t1tj20c877iasz.jpg
(cr:汐苶君)
--
Apologising for any grammatical/spelling mistakes.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
[TEXT TRANS] I did everything willingly.
If we were to exchange our identities in our next lifetime,
with me being the idol and you being the fan, will you be as crazy as I am now?
Will your eyes turn red because of the things that I've went through?
Will your voice turn hoarse from screaming in order to give me support at my concert?
Will you stay up late at night to vote just to keep me up in the rankings?
Will you give up a sumptuous meal or new clothes for my posters and albums?
Will you get into a fight with someone who insulted me in order to get them to shut up?
Will you tear up at the sight of me bowing 90degrees?
Will your heart ache when I get injured?
Will you work hard to earn loads of money just to see me at my overseas concerts?
Will you cry silently in the middle of the night because you miss me?
Will you get agitated and excited when you hear my songs playing, and see my posters on the streets till you are being mistaken as a lunatic?
Will you remember each and every single habit of mine?
Will you stare at the computer screen for hours just to learn my dance?
Will you like the things that I like?
Will you buy a product of a certain brand/model just because I own it, too?
Will you cry till your eyes are swollen when I'm at lost and when I had to apologise??
Will you get excited when we are in body contact?
Will you become stronger because of me?
Will you stifle your tears, because of my words, or, after receiving a hug from me??
If you will, then, in the next lifetime, just let me continue to be your fan.
Because I can't bear to let you love me in such a humble manner.
(cr:若小鹿不会跑)
chi-eng trans: @exonyeoshidae
original text: http://ww4.sinaimg.cn/bmiddle/948e264djw1e7g6os21hpg20hs0zktbl.gif
with me being the idol and you being the fan, will you be as crazy as I am now?
Will your eyes turn red because of the things that I've went through?
Will your voice turn hoarse from screaming in order to give me support at my concert?
Will you stay up late at night to vote just to keep me up in the rankings?
Will you give up a sumptuous meal or new clothes for my posters and albums?
Will you get into a fight with someone who insulted me in order to get them to shut up?
Will you tear up at the sight of me bowing 90degrees?
Will your heart ache when I get injured?
Will you work hard to earn loads of money just to see me at my overseas concerts?
Will you cry silently in the middle of the night because you miss me?
Will you get agitated and excited when you hear my songs playing, and see my posters on the streets till you are being mistaken as a lunatic?
Will you remember each and every single habit of mine?
Will you stare at the computer screen for hours just to learn my dance?
Will you like the things that I like?
Will you buy a product of a certain brand/model just because I own it, too?
Will you cry till your eyes are swollen when I'm at lost and when I had to apologise??
Will you get excited when we are in body contact?
Will you become stronger because of me?
Will you stifle your tears, because of my words, or, after receiving a hug from me??
If you will, then, in the next lifetime, just let me continue to be your fan.
Because I can't bear to let you love me in such a humble manner.
(cr:若小鹿不会跑)
chi-eng trans: @exonyeoshidae
original text: http://ww4.sinaimg.cn/bmiddle/948e264djw1e7g6os21hpg20hs0zktbl.gif
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