When you are feeling too tired, you must remember your idol.
That is, the idol whom you were once so crazily in love with.
That is, the idol whom you used to memorise their facts faster than memorising new vocabulary.
That is, the idol whom you used to write about, about how much you love them on your blog.
That is, the idol whom you are able to type his/her name on the keyboard even with your eyes closed.
You must be thankful, but at the same time clearheaded.
When someone forcefully asks you, what on earth made them worthy of you wasting your youth on them,
you must tell him,
I only gave my most beautiful memory to them, but they gave up more precious stuff than me during that period of youth.
When you are on the field under the hot sun for physical training,
you need to remember, your idol once perspired profusely in the practice room for you.
When you are sitting in class, with absolutely no interest in the textbook,
you need to remember, your idol once, for the rehearsal, hurt his/her vocal cords.
When you are sprawling on your bed, complaining about how tough your day was,
you need to remember, your idol had to perform on stage for you despite running a high fever, or sitting in a wheelchair.
He is your idol.
We might not be on the same land breathing the same air, but we can feel each other.
Since he did it, why can't you?
When you can't hold on, you must remember your idol.
Running on the track, your ears filled with hot air and unbearable panting.
Your friend is at the finishing line shouting the name of your idol, you must grit your teeth, you must dash over.
He is your destination, he is your strength.
Your secret crush has someone else in mind, and your shy love letter hasn't even been handed over.
You lock yourself up in your own room, looking at the posters of him who is still the same, choking up on your tears.
Nevermind, I still have you, you.
This world, perhaps exist betrayal, escapism, depression and all sorts of unhappiness.
As long as you open Twitter everyday, and start browsing through his updates.
You chuckle; sitting in front of the computer. Remember, that is the real you.
Your idol,
might have underwent all sorts of incidents, or maybe an accident, even the doctors said there is no hope.
Some of the members might have done something wrong, even some fans said they will not love them anymore.
Maybe time has diminished some of his popularity, even those who don't really follow him say he is not popular anymore.
Maybe his company never thought of putting in efforts in their promotions, with no intentions of further plans.
At that time, at that moment, how did he survive?
Fans commit mistakes, the idols, too. He has his own shortcomings, problems, or even have many people looking down on him.
Although he is not perfect, but you have to be thankful.
When you have your own love, you must remember your idol.
After entering adulthood, you finally have your own life.
He, too, might already have his own. Be it happy, be it blissful.
That past years of missing lessons to watch his concert,
that past years of squeezing in front to buy tickets,
that past years of pasting posters all over the wall,
that past years of scribbling his name all over the textbooks.
You might have been crazy before,
but when you recall those years, you need to be proud, because that is one of a kind, something others don't have.
You protect him, forsaking your own limelight.
You devote your love towards him, no longer thinking about other guys, but also at the same time developing rationality and your own perception towards life.
Looking at him, from being a teen to adult, with stubby moustache growing out of his cheeks, with wrinkles on his face when he smiles.
Those are the traces of your love, which has undergone the vicissitudes of life, so thunderous.
So what if you are old, you need to be proud, because you experienced the purifying of time.
He stood for you, for you.
When he announces that he found his other half.
You cried, you teared. Because he has reached the shore, you are finally at ease and assured.
The position where you once dreamed of being at, someone has stood there in your place, for you.
So many years, you watched him fall and stand up on his own.
You finally feel relieved, that he has shoulders to lean upon.
Just that there is a little, just a little tinge of regret. Why, the one who is giving him happiness, is not you.
You have to remember your idol.
Those years, the person who has been giving you your happiness, rage, sorrow and joy..The one controlling your mind.
Even if he no longer appears on the screens of your TV, your handphone screen still, is filled with memories.
Even if his name no longer appears on the fashion magazines, your diary still, is filled with doodles and love.
Seeing how he shines on stage, dancing,
standing under the spotlight, talking to us and smiling with a microphone,
the way he stands on the steps, crying when he heard the fans singing along,
the way he receives the award and look at the cheering crowd,
and the first time, seeing him and forgetting about time.
No matter where time goes, in your heart, he is always, like that.
You must remember your idol.
You once boasted about his good, despite receiving disagreeing looks on the faces of the people around you.
Your blog is full of his news,
just to let people who understand you, know how blissful it is to like him.
You once quarrelled with others because of him.
You don't cry when people scold you, throw things at you, but your eyes turn red when someone is just badmouthing them.
On what basis, you ask, since they don't understand him, how dare they think they have the right to criticise them.
He is your life.
You hid under your blankets, crying, because of him. Having wild thoughts in the middle of the night,
how has he been, how was his injuries, what did he meant when he said that.
Tired, but after a short nap you wake up and continue to love him.
You are not afraid of anything, so long as he is there.
Some people in this world might be physically close to you, but can never understand why you like him.
You must tell them, the word "fortitude" is not something that can be taught by anyone.
And he, gave you this precious thing.
So, you must remember your idol.
Dear, since now we are still young.
You have to work hard, to become someone worthy of him,
to be able to meet him someday, and stand next to him deservingly.
You must, must tell him personally.
You must tell him that you are thankful that you didn't miss him, in the midst of billion of people.
Thank him for his companionship for the past few years, whether be it crying or laughing.
You must, deeply, with that choked up voice of yours, carefully, shout his name.
-- I used to, love you, that, that, that much.
[Even if time has passed, don't worry, the white-haired me will remember the black-haired you, while loving the white-haired you.]
by: 蓝爵Yoyo
trans: @exonyeoshidae
--
Though this letter may sound too extreme, I found it quite relatable as a fellow fan.
While waiting for our boys' comeback, let's take a short moment to relive our fangirl lives, and think about how we want it to continue. ^^
Monday, February 11, 2013
[TRANS] Chanyeol
The Chanyeol who is always spotted with red veins in his eyes.
The Chanyeol who still smiles happily nevertheless.
The Chanyeol who is afraid of the heat.
The Chanyeol who will sleep on the sofa in the living room and sweat all over during summer.
The Chanyeol who is afraid of the cold.
The Chanyeol who wears clothes so thick in the winter till he looks like a bear, and coughs occasionally.
The mischievous Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who smirks during snowfights with his bros and hides behind the railings after that.
The Chanyeol who makes fail snowballs which fall apart upon throwing.
The hardworking Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who picks up rubbish and throws it into the bin.
The happy Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will go around leaving messages in other's Cyworld.
The hyperactive Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will move his body around with weird facial expressions when listening to songs.
The quiet Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will submerge himself into the contents of a book, and never utter a word.
The enthusiastic Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who claps everytime and cheers the loudest whenever the members speak up.
The kindhearted Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who kept on saying "It's okay" even when fans pushed him and caused him to knock against the door.
The thoughtful Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who quietly corrects the leader's starting pose before the music starts.
The polite Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who bows to both sunbaes and hoobaes, who smiles and nods his head to an old lady at the airport.
The blur Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will make up his own dancesteps when he danced a wrong move.
The mature Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who is tired and panting but still waves to the fans after performing.
The too mature Chanyeol
The Chanyeol who was seen by fans limping after leaving the stage.
The selfless Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who initiates to help move the heavy boxes.
The ego Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who needs to check himself out upon seeing his reflection on the phone, window and even the mirrors on the sides of escalators.
The confident Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will say with absolute confidence that he is the most handsome, but smile shyly after that.
The focused Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will put in 100% into performing guitar or drums.
The childlike Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who raised a ferret and who will still show endless affection for dogs when he sees one.
The clumsy Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who can't speak accurate Chinese but still shouts his Chinese name in pride.
The cute Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who laughs and stomps his feet on programmes.
The soft Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who hurries over to help Kai when he is injured.
The bashful Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who has a light dimple on the left side of his cheek whenever he smiles.
The pure Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who is curious about everything, who tugs on Chen's sleeves when he wants to touch the trophy as well.
The strong Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who has never been red-eyed till now, holding the trophy with a smile, with pride in his eyes, putting his thumbs up when staring into the camera.
Chanyeol often says, "Hi! I'm EXO-K's happy virus, Chanyeol."
Sometimes it's easy to think that Chanyeol is already very mature.
But if you think again, he is only a boy who just had his 20th birthday.
Chanyeol has dry eye symptom, so he often feels uncomfortable. But he has a pair of eyes that are clearer than any lake.
Chanyeol has a love for caps, so he has many of them, but actually the ones that he often wears are just that few.
He never changed his watch. He is a person who often reminisce about the past.
Chanyeol lacks a sense of security. He used to love to hold on to other's arms.
But the Chanyeol now no longer clings on to people, he has changed into a furry cap, as if it could provide him with comfort.
Chanyeol has a pure, childlike heart.
He likes to breath warm air onto the window while sitting in the car, then uses his finger to draw a heart.
Chanyeol has a small mole on the right side of his face. My dad says such people will have a lot of blessings in their life, leading a life that is safe and smooth.
Chanyeol usually signs with his eyes wide open, head down, maybe he wants to write down every stroke of his name with the whole of his heart.
Chanyeol always only express happiness and joy on his face. He won't allow people to know whether he is feeling down or angry.
Chanyeol is full of courage, but he is afraid of loneliness.
Chanyeol keep having the you-can-restrict-my-freedom-but-not-my-heart expression.
Chanyeol, is a really good person.
cr:sasaza
trans: exonyeoshidae
The Chanyeol who still smiles happily nevertheless.
The Chanyeol who is afraid of the heat.
The Chanyeol who will sleep on the sofa in the living room and sweat all over during summer.
The Chanyeol who is afraid of the cold.
The Chanyeol who wears clothes so thick in the winter till he looks like a bear, and coughs occasionally.
The mischievous Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who smirks during snowfights with his bros and hides behind the railings after that.
The Chanyeol who makes fail snowballs which fall apart upon throwing.
The hardworking Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who picks up rubbish and throws it into the bin.
The happy Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will go around leaving messages in other's Cyworld.
The hyperactive Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will move his body around with weird facial expressions when listening to songs.
The quiet Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will submerge himself into the contents of a book, and never utter a word.
The enthusiastic Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who claps everytime and cheers the loudest whenever the members speak up.
The kindhearted Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who kept on saying "It's okay" even when fans pushed him and caused him to knock against the door.
The thoughtful Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who quietly corrects the leader's starting pose before the music starts.
The polite Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who bows to both sunbaes and hoobaes, who smiles and nods his head to an old lady at the airport.
The blur Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will make up his own dancesteps when he danced a wrong move.
The mature Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who is tired and panting but still waves to the fans after performing.
The too mature Chanyeol
The Chanyeol who was seen by fans limping after leaving the stage.
The selfless Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who initiates to help move the heavy boxes.
The ego Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who needs to check himself out upon seeing his reflection on the phone, window and even the mirrors on the sides of escalators.
The confident Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will say with absolute confidence that he is the most handsome, but smile shyly after that.
The focused Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who will put in 100% into performing guitar or drums.
The childlike Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who raised a ferret and who will still show endless affection for dogs when he sees one.
The clumsy Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who can't speak accurate Chinese but still shouts his Chinese name in pride.
The cute Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who laughs and stomps his feet on programmes.
The soft Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who hurries over to help Kai when he is injured.
The bashful Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who has a light dimple on the left side of his cheek whenever he smiles.
The pure Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who is curious about everything, who tugs on Chen's sleeves when he wants to touch the trophy as well.
The strong Chanyeol.
The Chanyeol who has never been red-eyed till now, holding the trophy with a smile, with pride in his eyes, putting his thumbs up when staring into the camera.
Chanyeol often says, "Hi! I'm EXO-K's happy virus, Chanyeol."
Sometimes it's easy to think that Chanyeol is already very mature.
But if you think again, he is only a boy who just had his 20th birthday.
Chanyeol has dry eye symptom, so he often feels uncomfortable. But he has a pair of eyes that are clearer than any lake.
Chanyeol has a love for caps, so he has many of them, but actually the ones that he often wears are just that few.
He never changed his watch. He is a person who often reminisce about the past.
Chanyeol lacks a sense of security. He used to love to hold on to other's arms.
But the Chanyeol now no longer clings on to people, he has changed into a furry cap, as if it could provide him with comfort.
Chanyeol has a pure, childlike heart.
He likes to breath warm air onto the window while sitting in the car, then uses his finger to draw a heart.
Chanyeol has a small mole on the right side of his face. My dad says such people will have a lot of blessings in their life, leading a life that is safe and smooth.
Chanyeol usually signs with his eyes wide open, head down, maybe he wants to write down every stroke of his name with the whole of his heart.
Chanyeol always only express happiness and joy on his face. He won't allow people to know whether he is feeling down or angry.
Chanyeol is full of courage, but he is afraid of loneliness.
Chanyeol keep having the you-can-restrict-my-freedom-but-not-my-heart expression.
Chanyeol, is a really good person.
cr:sasaza
trans: exonyeoshidae
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Something from me; Happy Chinese New Year!
Some clarifications to do here.
Firstly, I'm not a fan base or nor do I see myself as a translator per se. I am just a normal fangirl who happens to know both Mandarin Chinese and English and some basic Korean, that's all.
And I won't reply mentions, ask, about how I think who and who in the fandom are like. Because I don't know them. Also, you guys might know that I've only joined the Twitter side of the fandom less than two months ago. So I am new to the different "famous" accounts and can't judge or give my opinion.
I am neutral when it comes to the "politics" in the fandom. So feel free to inform me when I do something wrong or have offended anyone unknowingly. This fandom is really messy so I'm sort of on my own for now.
Before that I was just fangirling by watching videos on Youtube, getting updates from my p/a. Until I began to go on places like Weibo. I started by chancing upon a really touching message written by a Chinese fan and I thought this must be made known to more EXO fans. So I translated my first EXO related content. Some of you may have seen it before, it is the long text titled "Just that in the next life, it will be my turn to give you courage.." I posted some bits on tumblr, and that was when I reactivated my tumblr and started to get more active. Eventually more and more good articles came, and I got to follow some of the sources on weibo.
My original intentions still remain the same, unchanged.
Which is to let more ifans to be able to read meaningful content regarding our boys. One of the reasons I decided to translate and update with a fandom account is that I've seen too many people who translate selectively, for their own fame, things that doesn't help our boys at all. Hence I've decided to provide my own.
Meanwhile, I don't crave for fame and hope that my followers will reply when I ask something because I don't like the feeling of talking to a wall. I am a human, not just a fandom account. However, credits are necessary.
Some people ask if I can feel my account becoming "famous" as the number of followers increase. Well, yes and no.
I still remember how it was like when the number of followers was floating between 10-12
then 30, then 50, then 70, 90, 100, 140, 150, 180, 200, 210..
The feeling is amazing, I agree.
It is the feeling of people of the same interest and passion gathering.
I appreciate every single one of you, because it is not easy for people of different nationalities and cultures to come together. I'm here as a friend.
Therefore I don't feel sad when people unfollow me. Because I rather have a small group of followers who like me for the way I am, than me trying to please everyone.
I do take note of those people who constantly favourite silently :) It's sweet. Nevertheless, this doesn't mean that I don't appreciate those who speak up. I treasure each and everyone of you the same way. People who mention me do two main things: keep me away from boredom, and keep me in check.
There will be times I make a mistake, and I need you all to tell me.
Oh, and this brings me to another point.
For those who are curious as to how I translate, here's a short summary.
I translate everything, BUT I will omit parts whereby it is just the fan's perspective/feelings because fanaccounts usually tend to have exaggerations, and are easily mistakened and misinterpreted by the readers. Parts whereby it is too personal, negative or subjective are censored out as well.
All in all, I do, do some filtering on my own.
I guess that is all.
Have a pleasant Chinese New Year (Lunar New Year)!!
Thank you all who are following:
@exonyeoshidae
zachela.tumblr.com
P.S Anyway, feel free to ask me stuff on my ask.fm (I might miss your twitter mentions sometimes.)
ask.fm/exonyeoshidae
Firstly, I'm not a fan base or nor do I see myself as a translator per se. I am just a normal fangirl who happens to know both Mandarin Chinese and English and some basic Korean, that's all.
And I won't reply mentions, ask, about how I think who and who in the fandom are like. Because I don't know them. Also, you guys might know that I've only joined the Twitter side of the fandom less than two months ago. So I am new to the different "famous" accounts and can't judge or give my opinion.
I am neutral when it comes to the "politics" in the fandom. So feel free to inform me when I do something wrong or have offended anyone unknowingly. This fandom is really messy so I'm sort of on my own for now.
Before that I was just fangirling by watching videos on Youtube, getting updates from my p/a. Until I began to go on places like Weibo. I started by chancing upon a really touching message written by a Chinese fan and I thought this must be made known to more EXO fans. So I translated my first EXO related content. Some of you may have seen it before, it is the long text titled "Just that in the next life, it will be my turn to give you courage.." I posted some bits on tumblr, and that was when I reactivated my tumblr and started to get more active. Eventually more and more good articles came, and I got to follow some of the sources on weibo.
My original intentions still remain the same, unchanged.
Which is to let more ifans to be able to read meaningful content regarding our boys. One of the reasons I decided to translate and update with a fandom account is that I've seen too many people who translate selectively, for their own fame, things that doesn't help our boys at all. Hence I've decided to provide my own.
Meanwhile, I don't crave for fame and hope that my followers will reply when I ask something because I don't like the feeling of talking to a wall. I am a human, not just a fandom account. However, credits are necessary.
Some people ask if I can feel my account becoming "famous" as the number of followers increase. Well, yes and no.
I still remember how it was like when the number of followers was floating between 10-12
then 30, then 50, then 70, 90, 100, 140, 150, 180, 200, 210..
The feeling is amazing, I agree.
It is the feeling of people of the same interest and passion gathering.
I appreciate every single one of you, because it is not easy for people of different nationalities and cultures to come together. I'm here as a friend.
Therefore I don't feel sad when people unfollow me. Because I rather have a small group of followers who like me for the way I am, than me trying to please everyone.
I do take note of those people who constantly favourite silently :) It's sweet. Nevertheless, this doesn't mean that I don't appreciate those who speak up. I treasure each and everyone of you the same way. People who mention me do two main things: keep me away from boredom, and keep me in check.
There will be times I make a mistake, and I need you all to tell me.
Oh, and this brings me to another point.
For those who are curious as to how I translate, here's a short summary.
I translate everything, BUT I will omit parts whereby it is just the fan's perspective/feelings because fanaccounts usually tend to have exaggerations, and are easily mistakened and misinterpreted by the readers. Parts whereby it is too personal, negative or subjective are censored out as well.
All in all, I do, do some filtering on my own.
I guess that is all.
Have a pleasant Chinese New Year (Lunar New Year)!!
Thank you all who are following:
@exonyeoshidae
zachela.tumblr.com
lolzachelatigalol-emo.blogspot.sg
P.S Anyway, feel free to ask me stuff on my ask.fm (I might miss your twitter mentions sometimes.)
ask.fm/exonyeoshidae
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